Write It Out

When I cannot find the words, I simply write it out,

I'm not always sure what to say, I always have my doubts.

I get nervous when my emotions are too much to handle,

The fire in my life is blown out like a candle.

If I could only tell you exactly how I felt,

only it's like I open my mouth and I'm hitting myself with a belt.

I don't know how I feel because I'm tired of this feeling,

I'm sick  of shooting for something that my heart cannot simply reel in. 

The emotions I strive to get rid of haunt me in my sleep, 

But I'm too afraid to show them because I know that they are deep.

And as you lay there on that couch, scrolling through twitter

I wish that I had talked to you and hadn't been so bitter. 

It hurts to know I've hurt you, and it doesn't help that you shove it in my face,

I'm pretty sure we went at a really fast pace.

It doesn't help when I try to fix things, 

You open your mouth and it just plain stings.

I know I caused this and I'm sorry to do so,

I'm sorry that I couldn't be "here" for you on Christmas saying: HOHOHO.

I just need to do me, something I need to see.

Nothing to do with him, those chances are so slim.

Just something I have to do, understand that I'm lost in the world,

and I'm imperfect just like you.