Writer's Block

“you’re a good writer!”

“thanks! It means a lot”

I sit down today

My white knuckles typing word after word

[backspace] [backspace]

(That’s a weird description)

I’m just trying to create, to write

Something that is readable

Something that is right

[backspace] [backspace]

(what’s up with the rhyming?)

I want to have my own word

And artistic contribution

Because if I don’t,

What am i?

[backspace] [backspace]

(that’s too bleak… I know im more than my brain)

I put my worth in my ability to create

But what if I have a bad day

Need to just be

And exist

And allow text and art to penetrate me

Instead of trying to destroy every barrier

Break up time and space

Change the lives of millions

[backspace] [backspace]

(that’s too cliché)

Can I just be

Or do I need to weave together a masterpiece

Recreate creation

Be the next (insert name of famous author)

Because if not ill be a poor

                                                Broke

                                                                English major

[backspace] [backspace]

(whats up with the weird indentations?)

The pressure isn’t from everyone else

It’s from me

I know I can be the best I can be

That satisfies me

I like this poem

[backspace] [backspace]

(I’m so weird)

But it doesn’t

Because I care more about the fancy medal

The hard cover

The new book smell

Than I care about the used keys of my laptop

The whirring of my brain

The smell of fresh ink on my fingers.

What is value? What are we worth? What is this worth?

Am I just typing nonsense then deleting it?

[backspace] [backspace]

(don’t delete it)

Can I not think of anything else to do?

I want to create, to write to be

But I cant think of anything worthy enough to exist

Myself

                My life

                                My career

                                                Every poem ive ever written

Worthy to exist?

Does it matter?

I don’t want to be useless information

[backspace] [backspace]

(don’t be hard on yourself, you know you can write)

I want to have meaning

I want to be read

[backspace] [backspace]

(you want to be crazy?)

I want to be known

I want to be loved

[backspace] [backspace]

I want to be read

I want to be known

I want to be loved

R  e  a  d

K    n     o     w      n

L              o             v              e             d

…