A Year Later

It all started out with a kiss, and i didn't know what i was getting myself into its been a year, and we don't even have an anniversary date yet i don't think it matters though,because something that i see as too good to be true seems to be coming to an end but thats just me being sensitive again, I'm trying so hard to be better at this than i am like a stronger man, but i know I'm not perfect and i guess one way or another you will have to understand, and work with me on this but too good to be true, because i just don't understand how i ended up with you a year later, and i still get butterflies when I'm on my way to see you I'm always worried if i look good enough or not for you everything is better with you i guess I'm just obsessed i know my affections towards you are true, because no one makes me feel like its the end of the world, the way you do just leaving your house, 11 at night and ill wonder will i get to see you again this week, if so how soon, how long will it be a full day or just for a few but as far as i see this, all i want is to be loved like the way i love you i want to be the one you can't wait to see, i want to be the one that you think of most when your alone, text me and you can expect my affection i am too burnt out about you leaving I'm scared to death your going to find someone else someone else that gets to hold your hand, i want to be the one that gets to hold your hand and if I'm not careful I'm might cry like the sensitive guy i am I'm reminding myself daily don't be such a sensitive baby I'm the guy in this relationship and your the lady but the truth is, I'm so scared to let go and I'm scared to fall away I'm scared that somehow, I'm not going to be loved again in the same way sometimes i believe you love me even though you never told me i sometimes feel that way, not from just the way you make me feel but because of your acceptance you could of easily said no when i decided to lean in and take that kiss, but you didn't love shouldn't only be a way you feel, but love should be action to keep it real i should have this under my thumb by now, but instead its under my skin the content keeps moving out of context, I'm getting confused on what to do the only thing thats keeping me content is me reminding myself this shouldn't be the end between me and you I've got more minutes on my phone than i have texts we both have facebook, ill like your status whenever you get bored enough to post a simple update on something you enjoy or protest, and this long distance relationship pushes me to do this but there are two dollar stores and a post office within this small area in which i live give me your address, and on your birthday ill send you a card wishing you a better day than it already is, and every now and then ill send a card reassuring you just how much you are missed, and when you come back for a visit you can expect a back breaking hug, and on holiday break ill still get you a gift and if you want ill hang out with you on new years eve, i could be your friend with a benefit because i won't be able to give you a kiss any other day, at least not without a simple excuse if thats ok with you, i know you and the way about how you can't stand PDA no one has ever challenged me this way, and I'm in a absolute, mind blown craze remind me again why i leaned in on that hot summers day i didn't bother looking where i was going because i knew if i could have you id have enough to sustain me for a long enough time to call all those nights not just fun but worth something every emotional affection, every kiss, and every bridge we crossed worth it in the long run if i knew then what i know now i would still say yes and lean in for that kiss not just to enjoy it again but because this path, that hurt like hell was the best pain i have ever felt and ill probably learn from it and apply it for later life but love is not complicated, people are so ignore the small indifferences and know ill be here for you and ill always accept you just the way you are doesn't matter how far, even if it means going back to the start I'm still wanting to win your heart, and if you decide its not me that you want then whoever you end up with, me or not I'm not promising i won't be jealous, but ill be happy for you because i love you with all of my heart