You

To you,

You’ve haunted my life.

You’ve caused so many problems.

You’ve interfered with my family,

My friends,

My loves,

My relationships,

And all because of one thing.

Why did it have to be sickness?

Is it because I was never sick as a child?

Is it because I can’t handle blood?

Is it because I hate to miss out on anything?

Why?

I don’t know.

All I know is you are present,

And you’ve never left.

No matter how much I’ve done,

How much I’ve watched my meals,

My travels,

My experiences.

In you being around,

I’ve lived one of my greatest fears.

I’ve missed out on a lot.

I haven’t traveled overseas.

I haven’t played my heart out in any sport.

I haven’t been to an amusement park in years.

I’ve passed up time with my friends so you wouldn’t be upset.

It’s all for you.

But, it’s been four years now

With you around.

I’ve learned some ways to slow you down.

I know the power of Vitamin C,

Of getting enough sleep,

Of mint and lemon,

Of washing your hands before you eat,

Of eating crackers or pretzels.

And, you’ve grown my relationship with my God.

You’ve made me realize that you don’t have to own my life.

I can be free from you

If I continue to trust in Him.

In haunting me,

You’ve actually saved me.

I have confidence in my flaws,

In my insecurities,

And in myself as a whole,

All because of you

And the pain you used to cause me.

So,

Anxiety,

You no longer have hold on me.

Thanks for what you’ve taught me.

I’ll never forget you,

But I don’t need you,

At all.

I hope you really miss me,

Lindsey