YOU
Monsters weren’t under my bed.
You crawled in mine.
Took my innocence, and left behind
Paralyzing fear and shame.
I knew I would not be the same.
7 years old wondering why me?
Too ashamed to tell my family.
Time went by and you seeped into my seams.
Fear had me convincing myself it was only a dream.
Or simply a show I seen on T.V.
You took my happiness and left behind anxiety.
Soon I couldn’t sleep because you were crushing my chest;
Anxiety because of a man I’d never met.
A wolf who crossed paths with Little Red.
11 years old wondering can they see what you did to me?
Wondering if they’ll think differently.
Using harm to escape the harm that was done onto me.
Depression finally taking its hold.
Always cutting myself to sleep.
You took my hope and left behind despair.
Life went on, and I grew up.
15 years old wondering what love was
But you took my ability to feel love,
And left behind the ability to fuck.
You took and took until I found drugs.
Tired of existing, I stayed high; stayed cut up.
Numb to it all, I lost myself trying not to fall.
18 years old when I finally slipped.
Tired of running from the monster you turned me in.
See you and I are a lot alike.
We take and take from people
Until they have nothing left to give.
Waiting for the right semi to take my life,
I sat and wondered why?
Why did I give you this power?
I became angry with you and I.
You took me,
But I was gonna take a daughter,
a sister, an aunt, a friend.
I was as selfish as you.
I was afraid if I spoke about you
It’d give you more power,
But you are just a coward.
I thought you took my life from me,
But I gave it to you.
I never fought, never told.
I’m 21, 10 days sober
And finally able to forgive you.
Day by day I grow bold.
I can’t get back my innocence
But I’ve gotten so much more.
Now I scream at the top of my lungs about you,
Because a fire ignited in my heart
That burns so bright
It outshines everything you’ve done.
Because of you I learned to fight.
Because of you I’m not the same.
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