You

I never know what to say

Because I’m terrible at keeping promises,

But I’m even worse at breaking them.

So in the meantime I’ll just nod and let you tell me that you love me

And I’ll go to sleep.

And when I wake up, you’ll tell you love me.

And I’ll smash your mug in the cabinet making you coffee—

By accident this time, I swear—

And you’ll tell me you love me.

And I’ll tell you I hate you.

And you’ll tell me you love me.

And we’ll go in circles,

Rolling around in a bed of truth,

Too afraid to pick a flower in case it tells a lie,

Playing hot potato with our loves and hates,

Plucking the anger out of my mouth and stuffing it

Into your ears,

Rubbing the grey sweat on my fingers into your eyes

Till you can’t tell if I’m mouthing

Love or hate.

Is it

Hate or love?

And you’ll tell me you love me.

And I’ll tell you I love you.

Except I don’t make it so easy.

I tell you in the kisses I leave on your back when you’re asleep,

The extra time I take to clean your side of the car,

And the crescents I dig into my palms after I’ve grabbed you a little too hard.

I love you.

Every time I break your heart

You’ll tell me you love me.

Even if it breaks my heart to hear you say it

You grab the broom,

Sweep up the shards,

And play my heart like a puzzle

Till you find out the last piece is missing

Because I know

I’m not worth the breath.

I’m not worth the tears or the sighs or the slump in your shoulders

Because every time that I tell you I love you,

What I’m really telling you is I’m sorry

That you’re still here telling me you

Love me.

I love you.

I’m not worth

This. Not

Worth the

Words. Not worth

You.