For You

When I picture you. I see you in black and white.The sun is just breaking the day and your shuffling down the sidewalk in your usual manner.Drumming your fingers along the side of some graffiti stained building. You run your fingers through your hair and exhale. Your smoking again with tobacco stained fingers attached to dirty hands with blackened nails. The last time I saw you , you were clean, but that was long ago and that song your humming I just don't know. I see you wearing that half smile half smirk. You always seemed to be in on some private joke the rest of us wanted to know, but you would never tell. I guess the worst part for me is not knowing where you are, or if you ever made it there. The thought of you all alone is keeping me up at night and the thought of you gone well I dont go there.Your sunflower eyes which glowed so brightly shine only in my dreams. For that was then and this is now and for you my love my heart bleeds.