You

He's not around.

I feel empy.

Its cold without him.

He kept me warm. Warmer than jackets and hats and scarves and sweaters...

Its cold without him.

I feel empty.

Empty. More like a car with no gas...

Not going anywhere.

I have to push myself somewhere but

Im empty.

I have no energy.

He was strong. He made ME feel strong. He made me feel as if i could lift the world because he would support me and help me if i needed it.

I need him.

Hes not around.

Hes distant

Far

Away from my heart.

My arms arent reaching him, I cant see him in my vision...

I dont dream of him, not anymore...

Hes fading from my memory...

I miss him.

My body, my mind, my soul miss him

I need that scar on his face to remind me to take care of him

I need his strength to remind me that he can take care of me.

I need his smile to remind me to smile again

To laugh again...

I need his eyes, his looks, his glances...

Im a mess.

Im shaky and scared

Im sad.

Its the type of  sad that wont let me enjoy a blue sky. The sad thatcauses uncontrollable crying and endless sleeping. The sad that seems endless and swallows me up and wont let go...

But it doesnt matter because Im not fighting it...

I let it take over me because then at least someone or something is holding me close and tight like he did..

It hurts too much.

Through all the sadness, i feel the pain.

Hes not around.

I feel empty.

Its cold without him. Colder than new york in the winter...

Empty like eyes with no soul..

Hes gone