You

Your older sister was the one to find you

When she walked into your room on that Sunday night

A neatly made bed with freshly washed sheets

Not a thing out of place

But a note clutched in your white fist

She thought you were sleeping at first

Mistook the silent chill for something else

But it became apparent soon

That your room was a battlefield

With wars and casualties

Fought every night

And you had finally lost.

Your funeral was drowning

Your mother never cried so much

She tried to talk about you

But the words were stuck in her throat

Like a knife in her chest

Those salty drops smeared mascara down her face

And falling further and further down

Because you, her baby girl, walked a tightrope every night

And she wasn't there

And you fell.

Your little brother didn't understand

Smooth skin and paper notes

He couldn't understand, not yet

Why you couldn't play with him anymore

Why your room was always locked

Your parents tried to explain to him

Of angels and heaven and moving on

But he couldn't understand why someone as amazing and beautiful as his sister

Would choose to leave

It haunts him at night

Your father doesn't smile anymore

He never said it but you were his pride and joy

Now he wishes he had

Before the demons latched on to you

Dragging you down

Maybe he could've helped

Maybe you'd still be here

To smile and laugh and talk

The maybes plague him and he can't focus

An empty bottle of pills, an untouched room

How could he have left you alone?

Your family's not the same now

Not without you there

The dinner table is one light

The car rides are too quiet

They keep flashing back to that Sunday night

To the bottle of pills and the note

When they left you alone

When they ignored your silent pleas for help

And they each blame themselves.

How could you leave your family?

How could you leave them alone?

You were the glue that held them together

And you were the love they needed the most

But it's too late now

You've made your bed

And now we must lie in it

A bottle of pills

A crumpled note

A closed casket.