You

I saw you, last night.

You slithered right past me, just walked right into my dreams.

To say I was shocked seeing you here would be,

Well, an understatement.

Because I knew you weren't supposed to be there and I think you knew it too.

The thing I couldn’t figure out was why were you?

At first you didn’t see me and I guess I wasn’t seeing you

Guess that’s why you shocked us both when our eyes first meet

Both of us knowing you weren’t supposed to be there,

Yet there you stood right in front of me, like a dagger to my soul.

Your face the same as it was before, all those years ago

Before you erased me and I erased you

Then you smiled, dropped your guard, and let me see the rest of you.

I was seeing a bag of bones, skin an unnatural shade of blue and yellow

Caused by the outcome of life, the path you had taken.

I knew it wasn’t my fault, yet I still felt guilty,

If I hadn’t moved away would you still have given up on life?

I wanted to cry, wanted to let my own guard down.

Yet I didn’t want you to see me feel for your wounds see them wash over me

but you did and put the shield back up, letting me see what I wanted to see

not the truth that you hide so well but the you I used to know, the one I remembered you by

You wanted to talk, I could see it in your eyes

but you knew as well as I that If we talked this spell we had cast would be broken and slowly die.

You wanted to reassure me, tell me everything was okay, that you hadn’t died and still fought.

But that was a lie, and for the first time you couldn’t lie to me

I wanted a lie, tell me you were okay, we were okay, that this moment was finally okay.

You turned your back to me then, dragging me into a beautiful silence.

We past through time like an unstoppable blur.

I wanted to hold on just a little longer, a little tighter, but you slowed down

I was afraid to fall my hand slacked and let you go

Yet you stopped, letting life pass us by, waiting for me to reach back out and continue to hold on.

I didn’t and you talked, knowing it would ruin this knowing this would dissolve into nothingness.

You asked me one thing, even after all the years of pain, of standing and waiting, you asked me-

“Are you okay?”

In that moment I wanted to cry, wanted you to see my pain, know that I know it was me

Who let you slip away, let you go when you squeezed, let you just disappear

But I think, even after death we’ll look back on that moment

Seeing one another's broken faces, our broken hearts and broken minds.

You slipped into my dreams last night

I knew you weren’t supposed to be there

and you knew it too

So the question that I still can’t figure out was

Why exactly were you?