You Admitted

I knew you gave up. Long before you said it. But hearing you admit it still stayed with me. Your words replay. I think about the conversation more than I want to. You were almost blaming me for the past. I don’t think you meant to. I think you wanted to be understood. It hurt more than I expected. You told me things. Now I don’t know what to believe. My mum said there was a restraining order. You said there wasn’t. My brother said you put your hands on his neck. You said you only grabbed his shirt. I’m not angry. I’m not sure I feel anything. I'm just here. I think it hasn’t reached me yet.