You asked me...

When?

When will my life begin; when will it end?

When can I go back and be a kid again?

My childhood ended before it began,

I never was good at making friends.

We learn to grow tough and get thick skin,

Thinking of all the places that we have been.

Hoping that at this school we’re gonna stay,

But knowing deep down we’re gonna leave someday.

Right when you get close to being connected.

Right when you think you get close to the answer.

Right when you think that you’ve been through it all,

Your dad gets re-stationed.

I attended a total of seven elementary schools.

I’ve lived in a total of ten homes.

I’ve made a countless number of “friends for life”

Every time I move, making empty promises of keeping in touch.

I learned after the third move second graders aren’t that great at answering phone calls.

When I was younger,

Age was but a number. I was wise beyond my years, they told me.

When I was younger,

I learned that goodbye means forever,

And waiting up for daddy to come home wasn’t normal.

When I was younger,

I learned that my destiny has been decided for me, all based on my skin color.

I got my eyes from my daddy,

I got my persistence from my grandma,

I got my temper from my ancestors tired of breaking their back to boost an economy they can’t even be a part of.

When I was younger,

I learned to be older.

You asked when did I realize I was growing up?

Well I realized in the womb.

Babies of unstable bearers catch on by what their mother consumes.

I realized I was growing up when

My first stepmom walked out the door for the fifth time

I realized I was growing up when

the frown lines on my daddy’s head went from one to five.

I realized I was growing up when

my sister was the one tucking me in at night.

I realized I was growing up when

 I sat in a courtroom as my daddy signed the divorce papers,

making the last time she walked out the door final. 

I realized I was growing up when,

I met the women my dad called “the one”

I realized I was growing up when,

I realized I never really had a childhood.