You Can Drown on a Train

“Why are you always so scared?

No one here is going to hurt you.”

I don’t know why I’m still scared.

I know you're not going to hurt me.

But

What if I’m wrong?

What if

I need

To have three locks on my door.

I need

These bells on the knob.

I need

That packed backpack

sitting warily at the end of my bed.

I need

Those extra keys on my ring.

I need

That baseball bat

With the sock hugging the barrel.

I know you won’t hurt me.

But you aren’t everyone else.

“What are you looking for?”

“Why are you breathing so loudly?”

Nothing. I’m okay. Sorry. 

It's just-

Where are all the people sitting?

Why are they standing?

Who just walked past?

Who’s sitting behind me?

Why is she crying?

Is she okay?

Why is he getting up?

Is he

Coming for me?

I need

To 

Run. 

Get me out. 

Get me out. 

Don't touch me. 

DON'T TOUCH ME PLEASE, I'M SORRY

I'M SO SO SORRY

I WONT DO IT AGAIN I'M SORRY

PLEASE

LEAVE ME

BE

I CAN'T 

BREATHE

DON'T HURT ME

PLEASE

please. 

…

“Why did you run off the train?”

I don’t know. 

I’m sorry.