You could have never known

Not knowing was not acceptable

Perhaps because the was no space for failure,

But I could never have known.

Born from the drops of sweat and tears I was raised as a civilian

Perhaps there was no space for children and their joy.

A developing country

They called it

But that was not how it felt.

More than just a country in South America

It was Colombia

Perhaps I was scared to leave because that would mean

To see others who truly experienced childhood

and were able to cry because they were truly happy

Not to laugh and cry because there was always something much worse to cry about.

Alone I had to decide between leaving a place I called heaven

Full of work, family, curses, killers, drugs and corruption

To fly into piles of snow and dollar bills

Because they said there would be so many more opportunities,

Full of work, curses, killers, drug, corruption and money

Because that is all that matters

Because not knowing was not acceptable

Perhaps because the was no space for failure,

But I could never have known.

I could have never known that the hands of my mother were wrinkled at 35

Because she worked as if she were 1,000 years old

I could have never known what it felt like to have a childhood

Because there was no space in time for unnecessary years of stupidity

I could have never know that tears mean more than sorrow

Because I never felt anything else

I could have never known that moving to the United States would change my life forever

Because not knowing was not acceptable

Perhaps because the was no space for failure,

But I could never have known.

Now I let everything out and make my decision

A selfish one, some might say

But they could have never known.

Leaving my only support,

a mother is no one without her child and a child has nothing without a mother

But how could I ever known

That the US would bring me peace and hope for the future,

Not because I didn't know

But because I wrote and thought.