Since You Didn't Ask

Fri, 11/20/2015 - 10:22 -- sjgreer

Since you didn't ask, I'm going to dump this baggage

You don't mind, do you? You did decide to read this, after all

And you can quit it any time

So I'm going to dump this baggage and tell you who I am

I'm too young to be divorced- I'm the one who used to force

Every smile over Skype to the friends I left behind

To pursue my stupid dream

Of me just doing me

In that respect, I failed- I let a wolf into the fold

I let someone take my world and poke and prod and criticize

Until I wasn't on my side

But I won't let it define me- I shouldn't have opened with that

That's not who I am

 

I'm so filled with hairline cracks I make it look like lace

Riddled with holes, I've turned my back on trying to save face

On all the things that make me feel like there's something I lack

I'll keep writing and singing and laughing and loving

And trust me, I'm going to love indiscriminately

Until I find someone wonderful and worthy

Someone I can invest my heart in, then get it back with dividends

Not give and give until I have nothing left to give

And maybe I won't- maybe I'll graduate and land a job and live fully

Without anyone on my arm

After all, I'm not someone else's lover

I am a witch doctor, a shaman

A creature of noble blood

They say time heals all wounds, I guess I haven't had enough 

But I only see forward- I'm forgetting what I was

And my heart's just another bone

stronger with every break

I am a human being

calcified

fortified

by my mistakes.

This poem is about: 
Me

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