You Don't Love Me

The application of your presence to situations that aren't yours will forever bother my sanity

And they make my stomach turn,

Because I know you are not here for me.

It always felt wrong, as if your beauty wasn't for me to admire. 

But who are you to decide what catches my attention

My eyes will take me away to places I've never visited... Places I've never wanted to go.. 

I have no interest, but my eyes.. They seem to need to experience all the wonders and depths of life and every smile of every person I've ever met.

My eyes see things differently, and I've had no interest in seeing the form of the human body.

But you... the skin corners up around your eyes when you laugh. When you smile. 

I can't keep eye contact.. I have to look at the way your lips form when you speak,

Yet you, you couldn't look away

 

I always wondered what that meant or if it meant anything at all.

You are oil and I am water. 

It doesn't matter how close we get, we will never mix. Never. 

 

Your hands are always bruised. They are cut up everywhere. Scabs and scars and scrapes.

They are yours, you can use them as you wish, but when I am holding them, they are mine and they will be loved. 

 

And I notice........, I notice that with every detail my brain could handle. 

I always wanted to be inside your skin, hugging your rib cage, soaking in your blood, resting on your heart.

I just needed to feel closer than the table we sat at.

But I, with my wires not disconnected, but completely cut, could never hold your hand.

You were always too close and when it's too close, you can never see it.