You Gon' See

Fri, 05/31/2013 - 17:01 -- Artster

Location

11218
United States
40° 38' 54.1464" N, 73° 58' 48.234" W

"I love you," he used to say
every night.
Every night when he tucked me to bed saying, "you're the best daughter ever."
"I love you too, "
returned daddy's little girl.
But daddy's little girl isn't a little girl no more.
The world grew cold at a young age:
nine.
Didn't have a thing for boys just yu-gi-oh cards and staring at butterflies.
One night uncle pierced my skin with a wandering finger.
A finger?
More like a blade.
A Monster .
Massaging through the great pink matter searching for my innocence to take.
And once he got what he found, he left me with the remains :
blood .
After , the little girl was forced to make it
on her own.
It was her against the world.
The world ?
More like the universe. Because
the Milky Way was no longer
the milk mustache
on her face.
She quickly looked for love in all the wrong places. Giving her heart away but taking it back even quicker.

Something didn't feel
right.
But she kept trying.
Searching.
She finally was
so desperate
she victimized herself and put it all on the table .
Searching for
the click, the love, the feeling and sacrificing the rest of her innocence, still returned nothing.

Something isn't
right.
And then I met my best friend.
She help me find the click that I was searching for .
I knew I was looking for it in all the wrong places
and when I knew what was right I hid it quickly because
society said its wrong.
But this time I couldn't hold it in

It's as if all the tectonic plates shifted back into place
And these confusing continent borders connected.
No longer was it a mystery but a whole : Pangea.

The truth came out and soon it was RIP to the double life inside of me.
They were heartbroken ashamed embarrassed .
Where did I go wrong ? She often asked herself. Every tear that dropped from my mothers face was a bullet, poison running thru my veins.
Where did daddy's little girl go he asked ?
And I said she's still here. Nothing's changed.
But he says you weren't supposed to come out this way .

Sorry mom and dad. This is the only way I know.
Me liking girls is like telling
a blind man to see.
I am still the same old me.
But still,
I fight for your
love and acceptance and
all I got back was
anger and rejection.
And I cannot take it. I have lost it all and I'm going to rebuild myself. Because you said
the gays aren't successful .
when I grow up , put that in everything, you gon see .

I don't want to marry a man nor bear his babies.
I want a wife I can hold take care of and love.
She will be the mother of my children and I will have a successful future, my wonderful family and be happy.

Because what doesn't break you, only makes you stronger.

You gon see.

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