You got it kid

Dear Taite,

My sister from another mister, my hoe before the bro, my barbie playing rocking out to music, best freind, cousin, and sister. I don't remember life before you were in it, my mom says it is because I was only three months old but I like to think it's because life wasn't worth remembering. As we grew up nothing could part us.

In the pictures of us in dance class when we were three both of us in our tiny tootoos, the clouds around our waists. With our clean little tiny dance shoes and hair curled perfectly up in a bows, everyone could see our bond. It's a strange by looking at a picture of two tiny little baby ballerinas you could see ,their unbreakable bound. As the years went on and those little ballerina shoes got too small and you moved away how we still were close. When we sae each other after months of not speaking we would be back just as we werr like we had just pressed paude on this funny yet tragic sitcom which became our lives.

Then at our young and tender time of youth things fell apart. The family that was forever you were raised in fell to pieces and it was hard. You came to live with us and little did we know then how bad it was. You would just be begining your fight against this life that wasn't fair and that you were given because the very people who were supposed to love you, carry you, protect you only cared and still only care about themselves. You have always been a fighter. But even the best boxer can take too many hits.

Year after year, blow after blow, and hit after hit you were fading away.  Little did I know the sister who had thought she had been there couldn't save you from every pain. I couldn't save you from the blade you would cut yourself with in the bathroom for years. I couldn't save you from the mother who would hit you tell you terrible things and hurt you. I couldn't save you from the mean girls at school who said terrible things about you. I couldn't save you from the monster who took away your sense of comfort and peace. I couldn't save you from the boys who would break your heart time after time after time. I couldn;t save you from the mean things your step parents did. And I couldn't save you when you swallowed your entire bottle of depression meds when you tried to end ot all.

I can't forget walking into the hospital room after you tried. You had tubes coming out of everywhere. You were tied down. Your head wrapped in chords making sure your brain wasnt still siezing. Your heart rate racing and racing like a racehorse. Your beautiful tan skin I always was jelous of was broken and scared from the sharp steele silver of a razor.

I broke down. Every pain I had ever felt up to this point of my life couldn't compete with the pain, the sadness and guilt I felt. iI just wanted to pick you up and rock you and hold you and scream. I only could fall down and cry. 

But like the fighter you are you woke up. Dear Taite three days ago was your three months clean of self harm. Dear Taite you are safe at my home now and I get to see you every day. I know you wake up at three in the morning wondering why you are still alive and who loves you, but Taite you are a fighter and in the morning you smile and you fight through the day. You the boxer in the ring. Taking blow by blow well kid you are starting to hit back and I am lucky enough to watch and my bet is on you winning this fight.

Love, CJ