I am a colourful darkness

never seen through closed doors,

only the window of a heart.

A heart that's been neglected,

suppressed and

that is all set to burst.

To burst into the outside world, unknown.

Into the whirlwind, the madness, life's pure vulnerability. 

I am ready.

Ready to grow, learn, and appreciate what is unseen

within the ordinary calm.

Calm, I am not.

Nor was I ever, always anxious to prevail.

 

Prevail I will!

As I now know who I am, a changed person,

Just looking for the right turn.

Turn back the clock, five years past,

Blissfully ignorant, drowning.

Drowning in knowledge, right and wrongs.

I was adrift, struggling under grey waters.

Waters which held me captive for days,

nowhere to be found.

Spending months searching for a home.

"Home is where the heart is",

But not my heart.

My heart is a colourful darkness,

The only darkness I have ever known.