You Know Me

You knew me

You knew me from the touch of your rough hands 

You knew me from the unbuttoning of my soul

You knew me from every right-to-wrong 

I know you had no purpose for me 

To know the reasons on why you did it

To know the reasons to why you graced me with every wrong in my mind

When people say things such like 

“Theres a reason for everything” 

They are pointlessly uneducated of the no-good. 

Yes

In every way you hurt me

You pounded into my soul when i saw you

You cracked my bones one by one when i heard your name 

I might never know why you did it

Why you opened doors i wanted locked

When you touched things i wasn’t ready for 

I might one day know why you did it

But honestly after everything i don’t know if i would want to.

I dont know if i would want to know why you destroyed pieces of me that i didn’t even know i had 

You added on the weight i carried fully on my shoulders

Like a bird flying with a boulder on its back

One day i hope to forgive you 

And no one has understood my story truly

Or gave me the advice i want to hear 

“Stay away from them”

They are in my mind every single day, as my mind cracks on the forbidden pressure 

“Tell the police”

The police might ignore my screams of silence and when they do i don’t know how i’ll scream again

See the things the untouched say will never compare to the events

I attempt to get help and i attempt to smile through this scratched up mindset

And even though i have so far never gotten to forgive, and even when i don’t want you to,

You know me.