you loved me once- I think.

Before you,

I always let other people's opinions get to me.

I cared what they thought about me

and felt as if I had expectations to meet.

You taught me that their opinions have no affect on me or my happiness.

Before you,

I was terrified of trying new things and kept my mind closed.

You taught me how exciting and beautiful new things could be

and now I couldn't be more eager to see everything the world has to offer.

You completely changed the person I am today and we went to so many new places together.

You were my first for a lot of things.

My first lover,

my first heartbreak

and the first intentional bruise ever laid on my body.

What is the matter my love?

What has depression done to you?

You're beautiful blonde hair grew dark,

your wide blue eyes became empty,

and you have hidden your love from me.

Did you forget what I once meant to you?

I would try to revive you

yet you would crawl deeper beneath this black blanket

that covered you and everything you once believed in,

but I didn’t give up on you.

Because I loved you.

But your love drained me,

it was as if you kept me well fed

and then suddenly started restricting my calorie intake.

My collar bones purged from my body

and I was suddenly sick.

Dying actually, because I loved you.

Love isn’t supposed to bring you to your knees,

binging on the memories of the past

and then purging the memories of today.