You Made Me This Way

One thing I’ve learned

Is you don’t define me.

You left. You forgot to call.

You moved on, and tried to come back.

Several times.

Not even a card on my birthday.

You broke my heart, and tried to pick

Up the broken pieces with false words, and little action.

I am strong because of you.

I am not weak, or tattered and torn.

I took care of myself when your shoulder wasn’t there

To leave mascara-stained tears on.

I am a college graduate

because your abandonment made me persevere.

At one point, I felt

Mentally defeated.

I overcame my jealousy, and

Conquered my rage.

And today, you try, sometimes.

You offer to see me, and come to my affairs.

I am scared to let you back in

For fear of being crushed like a small bug

Over and over again.

Like so many times before.

So I keep my distance,

And only see you on my terms.

Your actions have made me

Who I am.

I am STRONG

BEAUTIFUL

CONFIDENT.

You’re just the man who fathered me.

And that’s really all that you will be.

Maybe you never meant to hurt me.

Maybe one day I can forgive you.

Maybe, just maybe this time will be different.

Or maybe, I’m just fooling myself.

I live on my own.

I pay for my own things.

You need someone to take care of you.

Bouncing from one wife to the next

Like they grow on trees.

Having kids like they don’t cost a thing.

I used to think you put the stars

In the sky.

Now I know, you were only kidding yourself.

You hurt me.

But, I’m okay now. Somehow.

I keep grudges, and a wall stays around my heart.

But, I’m okay.

I really am.

I am smart, and witty.

I take after you.

Although, I don’t have your
Artistic talent.

I look just like you.

I have your eyes.

I make jokes, like you used to.

I think I may be bipolar, like you.

See, Dad, you and me,

We aren’t so different.

You’re smart, and you’re tough.

And you’ve been hurt too many times

That you don’t even realize you’re hurting

Others too.

I wish I could heal your heart,

And heal mine at the same time.

You made me this way.

You made me smart, guarded, afraid to let

Others in.

I’m sorry that I’m just like you.