You Make Me Glad to Still be Alive at a Train Station in the Middle of the Night

I could sit here in your silence forever

It's big and welcoming, like a hug

But if I ask you not to touch me, you will not

If I ask you not to speak to me, you will not.

You let me think.

Think over this relationship and how it scares me,

Not because I don't love you too

But because the confidence in myself that you'll stay with me is draining.

I could sit here in your silence forever,

You're sitting like a shadow, you're hurting

You asked for me just to listen so I am, but right now it's just all quiet

I know you'll tell me later, but you're so quiet...

You say it's noisy on the inside of your brain,

That we have to whisper closely and quietly enough to hear a mouse think;

Think over our relationship because it scares you,

Because you know I'll never leave hurt or tire of you

But because I love you and I guess you think that's draining.

I hear you thinking back at me

While we sit here in the quiet

Time is ticking past us, I'm wasting all my time

It's tick tick ticking and I'm wasting all my time—

I can't think of the words—

I need to think over our relationship because of how much it's fixed and stabilized me,

Not just because I love you too

But because you let me stay me and you never tell my therapist I'm draining.

I know we both think it's not time to speak

While we rest here in the quiet

Bad moods are walking past us, we’re letting them go one by one

Anger hurt sad and SHUT UP going one by one.

You don't need to tell me words,

It's okay just to feel things, you don't have to say a word if it's hard with the anxiety,

Not just because I love you most

But because I could never find you draining.