You missed out.

There’s a saying that everybody has something to take away the pain

Yours happened to be a poison,

6 months before you left

The doctor said if you continued to abuse alcohol

 You would die.

Being addicted to something is like a moth is to a light. 

Every night you came home to three beautiful, innocent children

And would lie to their face

And say you hadn’t been drinking.

They knew better than to make you mad, because of the horrible monster you became.

Every time I would visit

Your daughter would search for the alcohol

In the strangest places, and dump them down the sink.

I never blamed you for wanting to be so numb that your body was paralyzed,

Even though you still felt like a thousand knives were stabbing you

Your pain erupted from every place on your body, as if you were wrapped in a blanket of nails, not for once thinking of the blankets that still cuddle your kids today and everyday that follows. 

in everybody's eyes, you were a failure, but in many ways, you did fail.

You failed to ever get the chance to congratulate your kids when they graduate from high school,

Or walk your daughters down the aisle and seeing the smile on their faces like rays of sunshine radiating all around. 

You missed out on seeing your little boy grow up and ever getting the chance to teach him how to drive.

wishing he could come to you and ask how to pop the question for the one he loves

He misses you so much, and asks everyday to carry your name and missing out on the first born that someday will. 

He has a fire inside of him that will never burn out,

He talks about you every day and wonders why you’re not here to play.

He tells me that he wants to paint cars just like his daddy did, 

But you're not here to teach him. 

You were their superhero, 

And their villain, like a double sided knife. 

You were 38 when you left this world, 

but did it really take away your pain?

You left 3 hearts broken and their hurt will never go away.