You Never Loved Me

You kept me on a lease like a dog.

 I would come to your whistle as your body lay slouched into our couch.

No, MY couch. The couch I had bought at the flea market that Saturday.

It was the Saturday when you threw me against the wall because I forgot to pay our electric bill.

MY electric bill for MY apartment that you convinced me to let you live in.

I wish I had left you sooner.

Your words held me captive like a slave and that’s what I was.

I was a slave for you because every time I almost said No, you would say “I love you.”

So I dealt with the bruises on my face and arms.

I ignored the fact that I was paying for your drunkenness

I always thought at least you said you loved me.

But the night you threw that glass vase at my head was the night I stopped loving you.

I realized you never loved me and I was only holding on to those empty words from your filthy mouth.

Now I know what love is.

He says “I love you” to me and I know it’s true because he never hits me.

He comforts me when I cry and helps me pay for my bills

He doesn’t care if I’m wearing makeup and he tells me that I’m beautiful every day.

He would NEVER hurt me.

Most of all, He loves me for who I am. He doesn’t see me as an object.

And he would do anything for me because he loves me and I love him.