You Stayed

Dear Juan,

I never met someone who I can successfully be myself with,

This is not just with partners, but with friends as well,

Everyone else belittled me, judged me, said I was too much or not enough,

Whether it was a sarcasm, joke or the truth, it hurt,

You laugh at all my jokes and think I am brilliant,

You like that I am witty and go with the flow,

Yet I am still not giving my all to certain people because of how they will make me feel,

When I am upset, you ask me, is it because I am limiting myself,

The truth is I am.

No one ever asked me that

Though, it sounds like a silly question,

It is not for me.

In the past and even sometimes today,

People tell me, “be more girly,” and, “dress up a little more,”

Compliments are not given unless I look presentable,

It does not matter how I look nor what I am wearing,

You never fail to say I am beautiful.

Throughout my life, I have had a difficult time being stable,

From employed to unemployment for months that felt like an eternity,

From making new friends to finding myself lonely,

Sometimes I spend an entire day crying,

The next day, I am full of giggles,

You are aware that emotions is an actual thing that comes along with me,

Whatever my status, your feelings towards me did not deteriorate,

You didn’t runaway like a silly boy,

You stayed.

I am so blessed we crossed paths,

Often I find myself tearing up when I think of the happiness you bring me,

I am in love with how you make me feel,

Juan, I am in love with you,