Younger Self

If my younger self could meet me now, I wonder what she'd think. Would she think I'm crazy, would she even recognize me? I can hear her voice in my head, the laughter never broken; the cheeriness in her voice, the hatred never spoken. Then I hear her say "No, you can't be me. I would never hurt myself, I would never give up on my dreams." This little girl, so innocent, looks again at me. "why did you do it? didn't it hurt?" "Not as much as you would think. I did it because of stress, I have no self respect. I did it so I have control..." "But wait, I still don't get it." I turn around and look at her, holding back the tears. She will have to feel what I felt, go through all the same fears. "Stay young as long as you can" I finally hear myself say, "growing up is really no fun, pain comes with everyday. There are tears, and screams, and adults in your way, very few will stay. Boys are fun for a little while, constantly feed you lies, but when you eventually catch on, they quickly say goodbye. Teenage girls can be the worst, as they claw their way to the top. They say anything to pus you down, they won't ever stop." She looks from my eyes down to my scars, the little girl who I used to be, "I'm sorry, but I don't know you" and she turns around and leaves.