Your ex-lover

Dear Anon,

 

The anonymous you. The unknown to the world, but known deep to my heart.

You’ve been there. Deep inside of me. You’ve heard the beats and rhythm.

You’ve shaped and molded it to the way you wanted it.

But, then you left.

It tore me to absolute shreds.

Seeing you walk away again and again.

 

But, you came back.

You came back and ruined me just liked the first time.

You never get enough of bruising me. Do you?

You tear yourself down and say sorry?

You say sorry for all the scars and scratches that you’ve brought onto my heart?

 

Like I said.

You’ve heard the beats and rhythm.

You’ve listened to the melody of a soprano’s tune that my heart’s sung to you.

You’ve fancied the harmony that our hearts sing together.

And yet you continue to rip me to shreds with your chords and bellows of a tanner’s deep muse.

 

I can’t let go. I can’t let go.

I must have you.

I must hear the sound of our songs on repeat.

Mixed together.

Two sweet melodies.

Just hearing the trumpets play as you come back to me.

 

What? What are you doing to me?

Do you want me so broken that I can no longer pick myself up once I’ve fallen to my knees?

Oh.

So, that’s what it is.

You found me o’ peaceful.

Independent.

Graceful.

Fluent with my angelic melody.

That you felt the need to bring your sound in the mix and overpower me.

 

But, I haven’t heard you in so long.

The last time we departed you were actually serious about being gone.

I asked your brother, “Alto where has he gone?”.

And as he told me you were no longer here.

I felt great trouble coming upon myself as I knew exactly that you had been fed up and done.

 

Maybe it was the guilt.

The stress?

The thought that you had broken me till nothing left.

But, o’ I wish you hadn’t have taken your own voice.

For, even you being the devil that you are.

Your voice was more angelic than any to come.

 

But, now you are gone.

And now I realize.

You challenging the beats of my heart and scaring me never tore me apart.

You only made me fight harder.

For I’m stronger than ever.

And apparently, you were the one who was hurting all along.

Anon, the broken tanner that made my scars into beautiful marks.

 

-Your ex-lover.

 

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741