your loss

i’m trying so hard to understand 

how we could always be on the same page about things,

yet entirely a whole book apart.

i gave you my heart to guard it,

and you tore it apart.

we made so many promises just to unfortunately be broken,

you brought me back pain from my past 

that had no need to be woken.

i trusted you and i gave you everything i possibly could, why wasn’t that enough?

why did nothing ever meet your standards? 

our relationship was never a game yet you seemed to have the most fun. 

you walk completely unbothered to the fact that you broke a person.

how can you continue about your day knowing that the pain i once had, 

you brought back and worsened?

i’m real, i have feelings, i have hopes and morals just like you. 

how does that sit right with you?

to know your the cause of somebody’s pain,

the cause of somebody’s rainbow transforming into rain,

turning somebody’s good day into a storm,

causing so much trauma,

and an innocent person to mourn.

i brought you to my family,

that’s something i never do nor have done before. 

you made a promise you wouldn’t leave, and you broke it and did something more. 

you told me i had nothing to worry about, but that’s not what you said to her her. 

you told me she was out of your life, and that i would be the rest of yours. 

and that you even blocked and removed her number,

which was never the case was it?

nothing was never enough.

because at the same time you said all these things, and made all these promises,

you were talking to her behind my back.

i just don’t understand how somebody could go and do something like that. 

especially to the person that cared about you most. 

the person that would’ve taken a bullet for you, 

but since it’s the new year, i’m gonna make a toast. 

a toast to the fact that you tried to lie to me about it,

when I gave you a chance to come forward and be honest. 

you chose it to be this way, you chose leaving.

i was sobbing on the phone begging you to give me a reason,

a reason why you would betray me like that

and kill everything I believed in. 

and even that was another inconvenience. 

i went into this new year, without you tonight. 

i never thought i would say this, but i’ve never been happier before with you out of my life. 

as soon as i let you go, i realized my worth. 

i realized the type of person i am, and what i deserve.

and i realize that you never deserved me.

i’m onto bigger and better things than you will ever be. 

you know i had plenty of guys in my phone, 

but you were the one that felt like home. 

so i CHOSE you, when i didn’t have to and with no hesitation too. 

i chose you and she settled for you,

and that’s really sad dude. 

you could’ve had a real one, better yet you DID have a real one. 

but you you let her slip through your fingers and even tried coming back like it was nothing,

like you didn’t do what you had done. 

but let me tell you something, what’s done cannot be undone. 

you ruined this for yourself, and if this is the outcome you wanted, 

you won. 

i gave you everything that she could,

and everything that she could'nt.

and you still chose her.

so congratulations, the only thing you won in this situation

is a girl who settled for you, because she knew nobody else would.