Āyat, or The Times that God has Come to Me

* Subhanallah = Glory be to God.

Sixteen ghosts died inside me this year

Subhanallah.

A classroom full of men I should have loved

Subhanallah.

A mother that left

God’s will and grace that led me to her

Subhanallah.

A father that never came

His love I found in mantra

Subhanallah.

Eighteen years I have spent angry

A path I walked seven times towards forgiveness

Subhanallah.

A pain that I have run from

A pain that I must face

Subhanallah.

A language that felt like pulling teeth

Now a language that sings to me

Subhanallah.

A black darker than I have ever seen

The gold that has held me together

A sense of peace when I have touched it

Subhanallah.

A God that could not love me

A wavering faith I will spend my entire life to keep

Subhanallah.

The repentance I have found in God

The repentance I have found within myself

Subhanallah.