“The Force I never wanted to feel”

You never know when it’s coming, the pain.

It catches you off guard

Like a sudden car crash

Or a drop in a roller coaster.

You get whiplash from the force its projecting 

And you cant help but scream at the top of your lungs.

I was younger when i lost my baby, feels like it happened just yesterday.

The pain still radiates, from my body and arms still long to be not empty.

I have held back my feelings for the people around me. 

Months later, after my twenty first birthday

The only time i genuinely let them out was when i was with my mom On christmas eve.

It was a holiday.

My mom only said one thing and the pain rose from my body, collided with the false happines I was projecting and it created a tornado of pain.

It then hit me, the sudden car crash and drop in a rollercoaster

The force I never wanted to feel. 

She said 

“No pain hurts worse, then being a mother with empty arms.”