Cartier Aikens

I wake up and I put on my mask.

It gets me through half of the day but then it starts to crack

I feel the toxic air of the real-world seeping into my mask, burning my eyes

Tears of pain and anger start to fall down my face and My mask beings to crack some more

Asked constantly what is wrong with me, but with such anger and frustration I distance myself

I distance myself away from the hostility as to give them their answer without having to speak

I'm tired of hiding, I know I need help, but I don't need anyone telling me that

The high hopes, goals and dreams of others rested upon me

Placed on a pedestal that I never wanted to be on in the first place

And the one time I eff up, people frown upon me

So I put on another mask on

And it cracks

So I put another mask on

And It cracks

The I put another

and another

and another

and another unil that damn one cracks too

I try to salvage it the best way I can

I tape it, super glue, I even try to take it off

But when I do, people are disgusted by how I look

The true me I've been told is ugly, mean, nasty, unloveable

So I put my mask on

I watch as, pieces fall before my eyes

I want to cry out I want to believe me

But when I do, I'm judged for it

They blame the victim

They invalidate my feelings

They laugh at me

They tell me I'm not good enugh-I mean I tell myself I'm not good enough

I let me, get in the way of happiness

I let them get to me

But no one can ever know that

I can't admit that I have a problem

So until then, I wear my mask