Do this to myself
I do this to myself all the time.
Taking all the hits hiding the marks they leave behind.
Ask about others marks to see if they’re going through the same things.
Blocking myself off because I can’t stand to lose anyone else.
Holding on tight to those I barely know just because they make me happy in a world of misery.
I cherish the ones that can make me smile from a single text.
The ones that call to tell me how their day was.
I can’t help but feel vulnerable so I put up walls.
Make me happy enough to bring down the walls.
I’ve brought them down before to the wrong people and they caused chaos in my mind. Tore away my happiness dashed everything I loved into the ground.
I was blind to the chaos because they always made me watch the beautiful field beyond my walls while they wrecked inside.
When I finally saw what was going on it was much too late.
The damage was done and he had won.