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Drew Monica Toy

If you don't learn to write your own story, someone else will write it for you

10 poems·Since May 2014

I'm a person. A genderfluid person. I am the way I am. If you got a problem with that you best to go away and do something productive with your life. I have major depressive disorder,anxiety, other shiz. Within the past year I have explored my love for the lgbt community and a]have broadened my understanding of the people in it. One Direction has probably had the biggest impact on my life, which sounds stupid but whatever. I fell in love once. She was the first girl I liked and my first/only love. Of course it fukced me up because my heart could handle it. Alanah was her name. I still love her but I'm not sure if I'm IN love with her. Falling in ReverseAsking Alexandria, the Janoskians, Sleeping With Sirens, Pierce the Veil, Twenty One Pilots, and Simple Plan are only some of the other bands I like. You should know I keep it real. I'm also pansexual. And I lovvvve ittt. Well Baii. I LOVE YOUUUU. Maybe.

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Silence In The Dark

June 28, 2014
Silence Hard to maintainBut not impossibleEspecially when nobody listened in the first placeWhen silentEveryone's happyThe absense of your voice is music to their earsEven when your doing it for a causeThey don't careFew see purposeBut all love the absenseA sound so sweetYou not saying one wordBut no one ever hears your thoughtsFor they do not listen closelyNow realizing speaking has no purposeWonderingSo why did you learnThey believe if for no medical reason It does not matterBut it does to youThe importance is greatPeople out thereIs good reason to youThe silence is so differentUsually so loudAnd full of angerOr laughterNow no soundSuddenly everything is so quietThey don't know you or what you've been throughYou may not know themBut you don't judge themSo why can they judge youEveryone's cheeringYou haven't the slightest idea whyThen you realizeYou say a wordThey seem upset nowAs they come to rememberThe voice that has been missingTheanger in them is visableAnd you decideTalking is overrated anywayYou did it for anxiety and bulimiaDepression and anorexiaSelf harm and those no longer hereDue to the darkness pulling them in Too farBut they just want silenceTo emerge once againIt doesn't need meaningJust silenceSo you let the darkness Pull you in deepSeeing nobody caresAnd you give in to the silenceYour voice once one of manyNow not even a whisperDarkness shadows youAs they make a joke of it allThe darkness so coldSo deep and unfeelingIt keeps its victims locked awayIn its cagesSome never manage escapeOthers are luckyAnd some are simply pulled in to farAs you watch people once so closeDeteriorateNot a sign of aknowledgementThey call you crackheadBitchGhettoSimply out of controlAngryUnfeelingCrazy AbnormalUglyAnd fatBut you come to a realizationYou don't careYou never didSo why bother listening nowMaybe they can be rightIt doesn't matter thoughJust tells you somethingThey'd rather you give inAnd they are fakeThe darkness is pullingAnd I refuse to give inSilence is the loudest screamAnd as a friend once said;In that moment Silnce was no more
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