Natasha Stallsmith

I hate myself.

Why?

Because I can’t do what I want to

Even though I should be able to

I have no good reason why I want to

Or why I can’t

I never get what I want

Because I won’t let myself have it

So the regret never ends

And I keep expanding my list of failures
 

Why can’t I be outgoing

And say what I want to

Or be brave

And do what I want to

I do it all the time

Where no one else can see it

If I told you what happens in my mind

You wouldn't believe it

Sometimes I try to stop

The scenarios and possibilities

But they don't want to die

So instead they define me

I know what needs to happen

But it never will

I just can’t accept

That I won’t be what I want to be

Why?

I hate myself.