Can it Stop
I want it to stop
all the pain and dissapointment
I want the abuse and concussions to cease
I really dont think I can take it anymore
physically, mentally, or emotionally
I want it to stop
its been non stop since I was 4
the abuse
my childhood taken from me
kept it goin my whole life
My depression worsens everyday because now I got more than just abuse on my mind
I got stress from others
school, my love life, my friends
it just keeps piling on
my mom always tells me that God gives his biggests war and challenges to his strongest soldiers
but what if I dont want to be strong anymore
Im always the strong one
always the happy one
the one always bringing joy to others
how is it that I can make everyone else happy but I cant help myself
I want it to stop
all the arguing
its like everyday its something different
Ive been trying to control myself
but do you know how hard it is to control yourself when you have the worst anger
like i dont know whether to cry or yell or argue back
majority of the time I try not to fuel the fire
but even if i look the wrong way somethin explodes
I want it to stop
everything
somedays I just want to drive to the middle of nowhere and just sit there and cry
but lucky me I have people who care
even though everyone who cares has caused me some kind of pain
I just want a break from the world
but thats not possible is it
cuz the world keeps goin and life needs to be lived
even if I dont have the strength to live it
somedays I look to other people for the source of my strength
why do I do that?
am I wrong for that?
why dont I look deep in myself for strength?
I wish I had the answers
I used to have someone I could tell everything to and they left me with no hesitation
so now who do i trust enough to tell everything to
no one i guess
I want it to stop
all the lies
every single one Ive been told
and every one that is continuing to be told
i dont know
I just want it all to stop
I want everything in my life to be erased
so I can start fresh
knowing everything that I know now
I wanna start over
I really do
but i know I cant
I just dont know if I can keep going
Can it just stop?