JDanielle

To be Christian and queer 

Is to constantly be in doubt

The God I have been raised with was said to be a loving God-

Until, that is, I loved a woman.

Then he was an angry God

Love is beautiful, a creation of Him, they said, 

Until I was open to it with anyone.

To be Christian and queer,

Is to constantly feel guilty

My religion is so often used to deny my identity

People standing for the same name slaughtered people because of who they loved-

How can I not feel guilty for carrying a name that spilled so much blood?
 

To be Christian and queer,

Is to be stubborn.

To be who I am is not forsaking my religion,

And living in my religion is not denying who I am

It is a fragile balance, one that so many people tell me I cannot uphold.

It is a good thing that I don't let people tell me what to do.

To be Christian and queer is to wonder if I will ever make a difference.

As a part of the community, there are so many changes I could bring to the groups that represent my religion-

I just hope that people would be willing to listen.