Brandon

Commercials speak to me

As owners speak to their dogs.

Feed me biscuits and stern warnings,

Command me to sit, shake and roll-over

My money to their guiding hands

Disgusting to say the least,

My dog insulted the most,

Responded with this,

“Dear commercials,

Next time please do not compromise

Your speech for this Canis lupus familiaris

For I,

Am as dexterous as they come.

I critically examine, with the upmost of care

And pray, you show similar courtesy

For If you do not,

I will act in accordance with my treatment,

Which no harness and chains can hold

As the second and third heads emerge.”

My dog is only 8 years old, mind you.