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Matt Mapps

If you don't learn to write your own story, someone else will write it for you

8 poems·Since October 2015

Please realize that "Matt Mapps" is my pen name and not my real name. Figured it be fun to have that. I am female and identify that way; just a tomboy nothing more. I'm a college student loving my education and loving my university. I am gay and I love writing. I try to avoid love poems but at the same time the heart wants what it wants and sometimes it needs to release some of those emotions out. I don't have a specific style though I do like the repetition form in my poems; gives emphasis. I just like writing and have done many forms of it. Poem has been my love for many years now because it's short and can (sometimes) be easy to get out and (sometimes) doesn't take too much time.

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Boo

November 8, 2015

Hey Boo

This is the letter

I'll never send

Because at this point

We're to broken

That despite the groveling

And crying my sorries

And bleeding my apologies

I don't feel like

It'll ever make up

The shame I feel

For causing you

That pain

 

Oh Boo

I can't say

That for years

You know Iliked you

That for years

In small moments

I'd think

About us

What it woudl be

Being together

What you would see

Could we become

Something deeper

Something more

You and I

 

But Boo

This isn't a love poem

But my goodbye

To a friendship

That's dying

Before my eyes

Becuase you and I

Are oil and water

Both fucked up

In our ways

I'm damaged emotionally

No good with relationships

But I'll even put up

With the abuse

In ours

 

Dear Boo

We're too different

To syncronize in dance

I wanted to tango

As you danced solo

Following the flow

But we danced to Angels

And now my mind

Will go back

For some time

To your basement

As Angels sang

And you asked me to melt

As you held my hand

And in the moment

I did

Under your flame

 

Boo

I wrote tragedies 

About you

About us

I saw avalanches

Instead of empires

And the torment

Stirring in my soul

That would gain speed

After every time

You kissed me

I knew I made a choice

That would end in sorrow

The only thing is

I don't know

Per usual with you

If you have much of a scratch

Compared to my broken limb

 

Boo

I'm positive

You hate me

And trust me

I feel the same

Because I'm not that person

That I became

In that week

When I pulled away

I didn't ask, I assumed

After you running over my heart

As I held back tears in your car

I tried so hard

To be a feather

Instead I crushed you

Under my promise

That I shattered

Because my heavy heart

Wanted more

That I knew 

In the end

You couldn't give

 

Oh, Boo

Trust me

I won't forget

Because literally

A memory of you

Is tattooed 

On my shoulder

When you sat

In that parlor

And just talked

And Angels will wing

And my heart will weigh

with my guilt and shame

As your memory 

Burns in my veins

In the end

We're a tragedy 

I tried to avoid

So fuck destiny 

I'm sorry

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