Jeremy Wheeler

#1 The dead walk at night seeking whom they be devour McDonalds is closed #2 A zombie moans low I hear it tearing the flesh It smells like teen spirit #3 They walk among us empty shells of mindless twits Zombies never think #4 Deliberation I reconcile to fight back forget they are dead #5 The funeral home where I work is under siege Zombies don't pay bills #6 Entrepreneurs Zombies open “Man-Fil-A” Waffle fries with Coke? #7 Dead in the eighties Michael Jackson danced like me Then I ate his face! #8 The other white meat Chicken doesn't qualify? Man meat is better! #9 I will eat you raw I will eat you upside down My standards are low #10 Don't stop eating flesh There are no vegan zombies Vegans are the food #11 Zombies don't vomit They are like desert buzzards They eat carrion #12 Zombies don't “high-five” Instead, they eat your hands off and never lend one #13 Zombies have no pets Unless you include roadkill The dead love skunk spray #14 Vomit's on my shirt Is it mine, or is it not? Maybe, zombie puke? #15 Need help eating guts? Gastrointestinal tract leads to bowel thrust #16 Manly fingers, yum! Barbecued digits to go Palms, sunny-side up #17 Burp! Indigestion. Asian man tastes like chicken So long P. F. Chang! #18 One angry zombie A thousand faces to eat The graveyard shift sucks #19 A bowl of pus, please Along with some chilled elbows Enough with the sauce #20 May I bite your teeth? They look like little Chickletts I miss chewing gum #21 Zombie midgets eat barbecued chicken fingers at Applebees #22 Oh my god! The stench! Zombie rots on a park bench? Just reading the news.