Phoenix

His lusting hands grip

and weakly protest do I,

I'm not ready, but here it comes

the months endless in which I'l cry

and you'll apologize, but it's not enough

and I'l apologize, but you don't deserve it

I'm seeing a counselor, and you bluff

My sanity, well, I'm trying to preserve it

there's scars on my hips

the depression takes toll

there's lies on  my lips

I'm not sure if you have a soul

and now the facade is crashing

my world is burning because

I got taken in by your looks so dashing

and got caught with peroxide and gauze

My parent's distrusting, disappointed, terrified stare

you're smile repulsing, revolting, nostalgic still

you haunt, tease, are constantly there

but you don't realize it's your fault I'm on pills

I can't have a normal relationship

a simple touch makes me bawl

even with someone who follows a loving script

there's triggers everywhere, and I wait to fall

Crying in the halls,

being excused from class

crying in the bathroom stalls

too ashamed to look in glass

6 months later, I’m scared and have depression still

and It’s heavy and it’s unwieldy but I’m trying to make a life for myself

I work and smile and I go along, not ashamed to be mentally ill

But you are done, you are in the past, so get back on the shelf