Tracey Vineyard

I think I made a mistake It's not that I meant to be mean It's just that I wanted the tension to break It was just one little mannerism not meant to be seen She gave me this look That seemed to hit me though my armor in the chink I didn't know what she meant - She wasn't an open book But she pointed to a boy and said "What do you think?" I got it fast and quick She thought I was harsh and poking fun at her friend But in my mind I felt it click They were going together to the end But then I felt ill She thought that I'd play with something like that? When the point of a finger makes the difference between break or kill No, I thought, no - This is really how I think Sometimes the teacher's eyes raze the room And there's a moment that you'll miss if you blink It's his face - It's like he thinks he's going to his doom I think he looks scared and a little green But when the teacher calls him It's like it wasn't there, wasn't seen And when he answers, half the class laughs while the other thinks him dim I know he's not dumb I know he's quite smart To be honest, the rest of the class can't add a sum But this boy has that spark in his eye - anyone can see he's a work of art It's just a moment of fear I think that is holding him back I wonder sometimes if he's given up on a future career And yet there's nothing he could lack He tries to be funny - the jokester, laughing stock I think that's his trick He makes them think he's dumb as a block That way there's no sign we can look at him and make stick He's afraid to try Because his answer - well thought out and good - might not be enough He'll say it's okay if that's true, but it'll be a lie Since that means that he's not made of good or smart stuff I want to say I see how he hides But when his friend eyes me, all her hackles raised I know I'll look back and see how I lied My eyes immediately lowered and my cheeks blazed I should have said he was magnificent I should have said he needed to stand up and show everyone his brilliance But I was much too afraid and I knew he wanted me ignorant Any bravery I had made a disappearance I said nothing And he relaxed But my mind was rushing Would someone seeing him be seen as attacks? Sometimes I stare across the room at the class clown And I visualize that moment where I could have done something so he knew he was smart But in the end I say nothing, and he gets to keep his crown He plays a fool, but I know what's in his heart He thinks he's stupid, he thinks he's wrong And he wears that label, that crown I want to take I want to show him what he is, how strong But I was the one who failed because I said nothing - I made a mistake