ackrakora

Dear Grandpa,

It's been a while. Three years. Four months. A few days. 

It's been a while. 

You know how you used to 

tell me that I could do 

anything? 

I did. 

Well, I am. Present tense. 

I'm standing up for myself now. 

Which means taking falls. 

But the falls are less scary now.

I'm figuring out who I am,

        slowly. 

It takes time. Which you understand.

Things being as they are.

I found a family.

      A real one. 

And I wish you could see them. They love it

when I tell them stories about you.

I miss you. 

I wanted you with me. 

           All the way,

        not just part.

Why'd you have to go

so soon?

Their favorite stories are the ones

where you make Grandma mad!

Those are my favorites,

too. Could you do it,

just one more time?

Please?

I know you can’t.

I’m writing you to thank you.

You taught me how to make others

 laugh;

  you taught me how to fail,

  and how it’s alright

 to not be

perfect.

I wanted to thank you for that.

Oh, I wish you could see me now.

I’ve grown, Grandpa.

I’m not shy anymore.

  I’m not afraid of the world,

    or of being alone,

      or of being vulnerable.

         I think you’d be proud of me.

        But I wanted you to be there

       to see it.

     To be here.

   I know you didn’t get to choose.

Or you’d be here, still.

I wrote to say I love you,

Because I do.

And I know you love me, too.

Thank you,

for everything.

Love,

Me.