caitlin

to the boy i still love, 

i've written more poetry about you

and you wouldn't have a clue

the fact that i still love you 

more than you ever knew.

my heart isn't messed up by your thought

but by the memories in my mind

your face

your touch

your smile

oh god that smile.

the one i could stare at all night and all day

i've never gotten over you

because i've never felt the need to

just the thought of you 

makes me sing a tune

just a picture makes me smile

even though it should make me die a little

just you.

the thought that we could still be what we once were

just the hope in my eyes

that one day i'll have you back.

but what kills me is that

i can't reserve you

because you're not a library book or

a table at a crowded restaurant

and worst of all,

you're not mine, 

anymore.

"it wasn't us"

                     i keep telling myself

"it wasn't me"

                     i keep telling myself

"it was the timing"

                     i keep telling myself

yet my messed up mind will tell me that 

you could find someone to love you more

that no matter how many times you told me i was perfect

i knew you could find someone else

i may love you more than words can describe

and that won't ever let me stop thinking about you at night

i've written so much poetry about you 

and you wouldn't have a clue.