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esanderssmith

If you don't learn to write your own story, someone else will write it for you

1 poem·Since November 2017
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Free fall

November 6, 2017

I was once in a free fall between contempt and high esteem.

My words were silent, but inside I screamed.

I felt the pain in my body from my heart to my head,

It raged in me; I had been eaten whole from the dread.

I hit the pavement on the side of contempt.

“Because I love you” was the justification           

It was the reason for your vice, your weak sublimation.

I ripped at the seams, then was stitched up by amity;

True love -- nothing made up from fantasies.

Then time rolled on, and I seemed to forget.

 

Caught in a free fall between contempt and high esteem

Here we were again; you had become my worst dream.

“Because I love you, doesn’t that mean anything?”

After years of progress, I was right back where I began.

Same stupid mistake, some failed old plan.

Then I slammed down my shaking hands,

Messily sputtering out the hidden silent screams.

Because if you love me, you would hear me when I say no.

Love is sharing, truth, and respect.

When you can give your whole heart, and not know what to expect

When you can hand over your heart, baggage and all

Trusting that they will never let you fall.

A mutual respect for each other,

Treating one the same way you would your mother.

           

I was once in a free fall between contempt and high esteem

I put up a fight, and finally had been seen.

“Because I love you” should precede a good deed

It should not be the justification to a weak sublimation.

A pathetic excuse for your actions of discombobulation.

Whoever you are, slam your hands down if the “love” isn’t true

Raise your voice loud when they make you feel blue.

Love is whole and love is pure and belongs to so few.

And love is knowing that I’m saying this because I love you.            

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