esp98

Why has “pizza” become synonymous with “relatable”?
Hey, “relatable” celebrities-
Until you inhale a whole bag of pizza rolls in 20 minutes
And end up looking round and insecure like me,
You are not “relatable.”

“Relatable” is a title you achieve
After being rejected by every crush you’ve ever confessed to.
“Relatable” is not a title given
After saying something stupid on morning talk shows,
And maintaining the label of ‘America’s Sweetheart.’

I’m a little bitter, I’ll admit it.
Perhaps even unfairly so.
But I speak from a place of deep rooted jealousy.
I am not beautiful,
Nor am I a smooth talker.
I do not relate with these people, but I so wish I did.