Mariah Harrod

These are the minutes

I could spend watching you sleep

or holding your hand

instead I am

drunk,

as I'm sure you are too.

You said you read the poems I sent

even when you don't respond.

I wonder if that's still true

or if these writings will die like a virgin.

I have a lot of spare

Time, well,

Time I don't spend learning what I am told to learn

but I'm not sure we have any

Time to waste.

Yet here we are.

I want this to have a clean end

or an infinite beginning 

but there's alcohol in my brain

and I wish you would have

stayed.

Maybe I won't harbor these feelings

forever.

I fucking hope not.

But you could at least tell me that

you've found something better than me

to take up all your

Time.

I know this isn't pretty

and it doesn't rhyme,

but when I'm trashed you spend the night in my head,

even though you don't want to,

even though you're not mine.

You're in my dreams and veins

and I don't wake up if I'm not

screaming your name.

I hope I don't remember this in the morning.