shelby

I want to cry on your shoulder and have you tell me its ok.

 I want you to massage my hips, to rub out all of my knots and stubborn work so maybe oneday I can learn how to relax, even if I hate you for it.

I’m so angry I want to hurt someone as bad as I hurt and make them understand that I’m fighting for my life every time I make a cup of tea.

You feel like chocolate. A secret drug, a warm smooth covering for all of my strawberry’s and fruit.

 I’m so tired I could sleep for years but I’m so helpless my bones can’t even lay me down. I feel like my rib cage has been ripped open and all of my insides are on a barbeque roasting, waiting to be eaten by the happy prisonguards on the fourth of July. Freedom USA.

My throat has closed like all the open doors we had for this next year. Each word I speak feels like an assassin that’s mission is to kill our memory, how dare I make new ones if you cannot witness them? My eyes have turned mean. They see you everywhere I look, they turn to hide by going places you would never see, but that leaves me feeling farther away from you. All I can trust of myself is my backbone. It only grows stronger, I lean on it trusting that it wont let me down. I‘ve been loaning it out to your parents and I think it’s helped.

 My feet have stopped walking, I’m at a standstill. Still as the air in a cell standing on the edge of the words goodbye and I love you. I love you so deep, my feet have roots going back for years, This I love you weed is the toughest in the garden, you will need more then gloves and a shovel to pull me out, but how much longer can i survive without any water? You are the puddle, I skip rocks across and cool my feet in, I feel like the earth making up a volcano, my insides on fire but I fearlessly take the heat, knowing that my land will become the most fertile after the explosion.