Sydney

I never 

Thought that 

Something like crying would 

Jeopardize how I felt about how 

Unbreakable I was.

Some adult I am, crying in the bathroom. And

There I go again

Hurting my best friend on the most

Amazing day in her life thus far and all she

Really wanted was to be happy on her special

Day. Whenever I think about the

Expiration date posted on my family's happiness I am

Reminded about the sharp knife of mortality and I get stuck

Thinking about 

How hard it is to be 

A hardass and hide the hurt I'm feeling.

Now I'm here and 

I have school tomorrow.

This is one of the toughest times in my life and I don't know 

How to tell someone I need help and I need a way 

Out of this hole I'm digging myself.

Unseen hurting is swallowing my soul and I can't seem to 

Gasp for air and it is so 

Hard to come back from

The fear and panic of 

Indescribable suspense and 

Time running out

With her.

On what earth does this make any 

Uncrazy sense?

Lies. Joke's on you; that world 

Doesn't exist. 

Believe me when I say I would do anything and

Everything to make this hurt go away.