Taylor

i don't know if this is deserved, or if i should apologize, i cannot answer these questions, so here, just in case i'm sorry that: i am not as simple as you thought i was. for dealing with anxiety, for having problems that you are unaware of. experiencing extreme amounts of stress and not always making it to church. for not having all of the same priorities as you. i'm sorry i praise differently, that i am more spiritually private than the church tells me to be. that i think for myself and analyze what i am told, instead of simply receiving and doing. our differences proved to be too much, but didn't you trust me enough to communicate your feelings? throughout our five years of friendship i have always listened to you and i was able to speak to you about things. did i not deserve a chance to explain myself before you made me out to look like the bad guy? friendship is a two-way street: you say i ignored you, but what about the days where you ignored me? do you not remember times when i would try to initiate conversation, and the only response i got was an "mmm"? i overlooked this because it was just you and i cherished you as my friend. the answer lies within your actions: i didn't deserve your communication. an invite for coffee, i'm filled with elation because hey, *she wants to catch up, she misses me and i miss her* chatting about classes, work, people, "by the way, the reason i wanted to talk..." an opportunity? i'm momentarily worried, left guessing what it is, are you taking a new job, going on a missions trip, whatever it is, i know it'll be so great for you! no. a slap in the face topped off with a goodbye. run.